The Wait-A Story

She looked at the watch again. The needles had moved just a minute since she had last seen it. What is wrong with me ? Why am I acting like an anxious teenager? Well I hate waiting ,that's why I guess!!The conversation was happening in her head. She was the one asking questions and trying to provide answers. Trying ...'coz she herself didn't know them.
He had said that he would call up and they would meet today. She has been waiting for the day to arrive since past 4 days. Has he forgotten? Had he said just like that? She tried repeating the conversation they had in her head. Well he did say that it has been a long time since they have met and they should meet this Sunday. He'll call up he had said.
Humm he will call up. I' m getting anxious just like that. Should I call him up and ask? She picked up her phone ....Scrolled down the phonebook till it reached his name...and then stopped. Would it look too desperate? She thought. Since when has she started to think twice before calling him up? A long time now... she realised. Why the hesitation, she wondered. She kept the phone back. Now her anxiety started taking form of anger. Why should I bother? Is it only me who wants to meet him,not he ?
She switched on the television and started surfing channels. Why doesn't anything good comes when you have the time to watch..She grumbled to herself. Stopped at some channel showing some movie. She had seen this one before but what the hell. Suddenly the phone rang .. she rushed to get it..Ouch...banged her toe in the chair leg. Hell... still she rushed on.. Picked the phone... and said "hello" without even looking at the name. " Hello"...came the irritating greeting of her colleague.. She had to ask about some stupid thing in office. After politely tolerating the babble for ten minutes she finally hung up. Sitting on the couch nursed her poor toe. Again started surfing the channels. Sprawling on the couch she started watching one mundane thing after another. Mind numbing stuff.. Slowly she drifted off to sleep. The phone ring woke her up. Finally it was him. She picked up the phone..thrilled to the core but planning to feign annoyance. Hello , she said rather stiffly. "Hi there how are you?Guess what..am driving back from a party where I met this gorgeous girl."He continued for the next 15 minutes...not noticing the monosyllables she was voicing. Finally he asked "So how was your day? Didn't go out anywhere ?"
"Humm... had plans to but they didn't work out ", she replied lamely.
"Okay... Chal gotta go. Lets meet up soon sometime..Haven't met for ages. Will call up OK."
"Okay"....and she kept the phone down.

SHE by Kobi Yamadas

Image by ronsho © via Flickr

She must be something special. She is. Celebrate her.
She loved life and it loved her back. Celebrate her passion.
She listened to her heart above all other voices. Celebrate her wisdom.
She pursued big dreams instead of small realities. Celebrate her priorities.
She saw every ending as a new beginning. Celebrate her resiliency.
She discovered her real measurements had nothing to do with numbers or statistics. Celebrate her self-esteem.
She was kind, loving and patient…with herself. Celebrate her tenderness.
She woke up one day and threw away all her excuses. Celebrate her accountability.
She realized that she was missing a great deal by being sensible. Celebrate her spirit.
She turned her can’ts into cans, and her dreams into plans. Celebrate her goals.
She ignored people who said it couldn’t be done. Celebrate her independence.
She had a way of turning obstacles into opportunities. Celebrate her magic.
She went out on a limb, had it break off behind her, and discovered she could fly. Celebrate her faith.
She discovered she was the one she’d been waiting for. Celebrate her self-reliance.
She added so much beauty to being human. Celebrate her presence.
She walked in when everyone else walked out. Celebrate her friendship.
She just has this way of brightening the day. Celebrate her radiance.
She made the whole world feel like home. Celebrate her warmth.
She decided to enjoy more and endure less. Celebrate her choices.
She decided to start living the life she’d imagined. Celebrate her freedom.
She colored her thoughts with only the brightest hues. Celebrate her optimism.
She was an artist and her life was her canvas. Celebrate her brilliance.
She ran ahead where there were no paths. Celebrate her bravery.
She crossed borders recklessly, refusing to recognize limits, saying bonjour and buon giorno as though she owned both France and Italy and the day itself. Celebrate her joie de vivre.
She held her head high and looked the world straight in the eye. Celebrate her strength.
She not only saw a light at the end of the tunnel she became that light for others. Celebrate her compassion.
She designed a life she loved. Celebrate her joy.
She took the leap and built her wings on the way down. Celebrate her daring.
She said bye-bye to unhealthy relationships. Celebrate her happiness.
She remained true to herself. Celebrate her authenticity.
She made the world a better place. Celebrate her.

With Thanks to devyani :)

The Process Begins

The Process Begins...
Of giving up things , I should have given up years ago.
Some cobwebbed memories, some stilted relationships.
The Process Begins...
Of Starting things, I should have started years ago
Some unfinished plans, some left in between decisions.
The Process Begins...
To finally wrap up things perfectly, no jagged ends tugging out
The Process Begins...
To test the maturity which should have come with age.
The Process Begins...
To leave the old and start the new.

Misery - The Song

Hey man have you ever wondered really,
why our lives are drowned in misery,
The pain we feel,the love we kneel for to heal,
the conspiracy of the universe to make us believe,
Life is all good,Make Belief.

Aspiration is our greatest enemy,
it gave birth to greed and jealousy,
two things we need to be above all,
How desperate but thats our world.

True happiness is just an image,
cause money can buy everything,
Sex and drugs and Alcohol,
a flashy car and a condo yeah thats the dream
The power we feel being at the top,
We need no one to hold,
I just wonder sometimes at night,
How lonely we would be when we grow old.

Success and satisfaction is just too over rated,
when our dreams get crushed we all get agitated,
expectation to fit in those boots of someone deep down you know are not,
But its so cool to be someone else when you just hate who you are.

Yeah I wanna be free,Yeah I wanna Fly away,
Disappear into the horizon and never come back again,
But I am schakled to the ground, yeah I am my own slave,
Yeah I am my misery and yeah I dig my own grave,
Where trust is ellusive and lifes Mundane.
- Arnab Deka

Once again I 've been given the kind permission by Arnab to post his song.
Thanx dear :)

Palace of Illusions!!

Cover of The Palace of Illusions: A Novel

Mahabharata!! my first memories of it was the serial which used to come on Sundays. In those pre cable times, Sundays were essentially T V watching days and Mahabharata ensured a full family entertainment. It was later while studying history I realised that it was a great epic ...in fact the longest epic we have. When I took up Ancient Indian history I started having a very ambivalent attitude of it. I realised that it was the reflection of a past society, its customs, its ethos . And finding contradictions and interpolations within the text was a high point for me. But all throughout I felt that it lacked a female voice, a female perspective. This grouse I do have with majority of other epics and ancient texts too...this lack of a female voice.
Finally I found a book which filled this void. Reading Chitralekha Bannerjee Devakaruni's Palace of Illusions gave a new twist to the tale. It is the story of Mahabharata from the perspective of Draupadi.Right from the time when she stepped out of that great yagna kund... a dark girl child, coughing ,stumbling behind drishtadumya...Uncalled for, unwanted. Her lonely childhood is reflective of several childhoods..those of girls who come into this world..uninvited, unwelcomed. Draupadi's marriage to five pandavas.One can feel the frustruation of Draupadi. A princess suddenly reduced to a commodity to be shared. In order to obey your mother's ill fated words ,you can decide on a person's life without consulting her. But then when has a woman been considered a person especially in our epics. The boon given by Vyasa that she will be a virgin every time she goes to a new brother. Her conjugal time table set.Though she has 5 husbands she doesn't have any choice , any freedom. It all depended on where she should be according to set timetable, unlike a man who has several wives... a common practice those days..but can choose whose bed he wants to share who's not. And made avirgin everytime... it reeks of patriarchal set up. For whose pleasure was her virginity?...the pandavas because all should feel that their wife has come to them untouched.Probably it soothed their ego..their machismo. A very good line is written. Boons given to women are also for the pleasure of men. So true.
Then the book reveals Paanchali's attraction to Karna. This I can relate to. An attraction or love which is all wrong... which never will be fulfilled but which still lingers on. How much you try to weed it out ,it doesn't go. This doomed love which is against logic and rationality .. but like a stubborn stain remains..refusing to go completely.
The way we hurt the person we actually love the most in order to protect our vulnerability. I think all of us do it sometime or the other.
Draupadi's enigmatic relationship with krishna was another high point of this book. The love which cannot be described. Something which has always been there...will always be there. The actual unconditional love. I think this love is only possible with God.
I don't know what I expected to write ...a kind of book review I guess. But the words..good read, unputdownable are looking so farce ,so incomplete. I think after a long time I've read a book which made me think and weep and smile .

{P. S. will try to write a post on Karna separately. }

Everything is fair in love and war !! Really ??

Everything is fair in love and war !! Heard this line and used it also several times during arguments. But last few days actually got me thinking about it. A friend of mine just broke off her 7 year old relationship. That too when after so many years carrying it out covertly she had finally confessed to her parents and all. Reason being that the guy was lying to her for the past 7 years about his caste. Anyone reading this would feel that the girl is a cold hearted ,archaic, conservative person ,who still believes in caste prejudices. (These days its an anathema to any modern day secularist....and most of us see ourselves in this category ). But knowing her well I know its not the matter of caste but of trust. Seven years this guy was lying to her (according to the guy this is the only issue he ever lied on ).
However if I try seeing it from the guy's perspective he did it so that he doesn't loose her. In the end also he was not willing to tell her but did so only when he realised she would get to know herself. His idea was that he would confess after marriage and then she would anyways understand .His argument that everything is fair in love and war. Actually this is what has been shown in several Hindi movies too. The guy lies right through...gets the girl and in the end come out clean and the girl understands. She is supposed to be in love with him right...so she should understand that it was only done to get her.
This got me thinking about what actually is love? Does love mean to covet, to possess by whatever means or does it actually entails trust and understanding. When I talked to a few other of my girlfriends they shared my opinion that here the issue is of trust. Do the guys also see this the same way ?
I really don't know the answer to this.
If the girl had forgiven him too and they would have continued their relationship will she actually would have been able to forget. And how do you again trust a person? Every time something turns up ,wouldn't she be reminded of the past that once this guy has lied for 7 years. Trust once broken can it ever be restored fully... I doubt. Also this got me thinking about this guy, his attitude towards life. For him end is important ,the means can actually go to hell. So when life will present other travails in front of him what will he do ...take the easy way out..lie, cheat so that the work at present gets done..future repercussions who cares? But then this is the attitude which is gaining mileage these days. Values look like a cumbersome burden to people. Honesty , Trust are these just empty words now ?
Again no answers.

The Traveller and The Tree

Image by » Zitona « via Flickr

Seeing the traveller pack, the tree let out a big sigh;
"Is it really necessary to go?", it asked,it 's eyes mirroring the question why;
The traveller looked up and gave a smile;
Yes i 've to go, he replied.
I know you gave me shade and food and comfort for several days and night,
But then that's what you are supposed to do right?
Don't think i m ungrateful, take my thank you before my goodbye.
But then u are not my destination but just a tree on the path;
Feel sorry to tell u ,but then we 've no emotional connect that would last;
Saying this, the traveller went speeding on his horse to where the sun rose high,
The tree letting out a deep sigh;
"No emotional connect" he said,
But then why did the tree took care of him when he was weary and half dead.
No one to see the love which went out with every sway of the leaves,
No one to judge the care that it bestowed on on its every fruit which he ate.
But then he is a tree..rooted and bonded to the earth,
He cannot run after him,
He is almost dead for the world,
So it will remain where it was ,
Looking sadly at the spot where the traveller said his goodbye last.

Things i am missing

The endless chatter with friends(face to face); dancing in the rains; laughing till my sides ache; a good movie with a nice company;walking in the hills; feeling contented; feeling the breeze on my face; a long drive; compatible silence and a person to fall in love with.
(not in a particular order)

Silence

Silence was when we searched for words wondering what to say...treading the new grounds of our friendship...to find out what the other will like and respond to.
Silence in anticipation and excitement ...a silence which was a quest to please.

Silence was when we sat together for hours...content in the knowledge of our relationship....when words became superfluous and unnecessary.
Silence which was companionable and wholesome.

Silence is now when we try to find words to say next...desperately thinking of what to say next...
Silence of long pauses..uncomfortable, stifling.

Romance

"You know at one time I used to be quite a romantic", She said with a sardonic smile,twirling her wine in the glass.
"Used to ?", I asked.
"Yes used to . "
"So what happened? What killed it?"...I probed .
"Well nothing spectacular, I just fell in love"

Ramblings

Again I am writing without knowing what I intend to write about. My musings , my ramblings... call it whatever. Had a hellish sort of week. Was in my lowest ebb.Well again those who know me will feel that since I am complaining of feeling low almost for a couple of years now,in that what is the lowest ebb? Even I don't know.
This was a week of a lot of learning. That is my positive way of looking at things.
A week when I found out that your gods have feet of clay. When I found out that some values in today's world should be searched for in books not in people. When I found out that at times you can be condoned murder but at times your minutest mistakes are enough reason for your crucification. When I found out that probably your greatest mistake in your relationships is that you are always available for people you love.
So learnt a lot. Regretted alot. Thought about a lot of "what ifs". What if i had done this? What if i had said this to him? What if i hadn't said this to him/her?
Also retrospected on me and my life. Saw my strengths turning into my weakness. How did it happen? When did it happen?
Anyone who reads my blog(not many do that) would feel that I am very morose , very pessimistic person. But at one time I used to be optimistic, full of laughter, full of happiness. Sometimes i wonder what happened to that person. Perhaps I lost her somewhere....or perhaps that person was never there? That was just a facade ...that optimism just a veneer which rubbed off with time..leaving this unhappy pessimist exposed.
Hope things improve now or at least I improve my way of looking at them. Read sometime back that happiness lies within us. We are just fools trying to search it around. Probably it's true. So hope to search this elusive happiness. Hoping to get a control over life...my life.

“I Dreamed a Dream”

There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft
And their words inviting
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame

He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came

And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.



I heard this song for the first time today in You Tube. Had heard a lot about this woman called Susan Boyle. Just wanted to see what the hue and cry was for. The woman really sings well.This song was sung by her in the first episode.The response she got was overwhelming. One thing which can be learned from this woman is that there is no age to chase your dreams. So this is dedicated to all the people who dream......a small tribute from the eternal dreamer


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxPZh4AnWyk

Perfectly Fine

"So how are you doing?"
"Perfectly fine", I said, flashing a brilliant smile.
Saw a smirk on the face across me and heard "Really?"
"Of course."I flashed that smile once more.
"Oh I see.Are your eyes swollen?"
"Swollen ? No ,No they just appear this way.Lack of sleep I guess."
"And why is that?"
"Oh the usual ,too much work too little time."
"Aah..... that must be the reason for your increasing dark circles also."
"Huh! Ya Ya of course.What else?"
An astute glare and nodding of head.
"So how are you coping ?"
"Coping ? What coping?"
"Coping without Him."
"Oh that. Oh I m fine. Not much time to think about any nonsense."
"So everything under control ?"
"Control? Well never been better." The smile again .
"It was a good thing which He did."
"Huh!! Of course!Of course! His intentions are always good."
"So do you miss .....You know !!"
"Miss...Well hummm..No I don't."
"Really ?"
"Well Yes.... I mean at times yes ...I do miss the talks we had..and there seems to be a certain vacuum ,a void.But then...... and well we must remember his intentions were good."
"Humm.."
"So how is he doing ?"
"Well I hope He is doing good."
"Like you?"
"Well....better than me .Better than me." I said crossing my fingers.

Never Together........Never Apart

They had been walking like this since long.She on this side of the river ,He on the other.There was a companionable and comfortable silence between them. Once or twice she had tried calling him, but the voice never carried. It was like there is a big impenetrable glass wall between them. He may also have tried calling but she never came to know. Whenever their eyes met they gave each other a smile. She waited when he rested and he did the same for her.
At times the river banks narrowed so much so that she felt that if she reached out she could touch him. But she never tried.Don't know why she was hesitant to break this status quo. He also never tried. At times the chasm between them widened so much that the figure on the other side blurred. But she knew they were still walking together.
She liked his profile.His smile was charming. He seemed serious, at times it felt like that he was brooding over some thought and then suddenly he would lift up his head and smile .She smiled back.
The night had descended but they still carried on walking in the moonlight. At last she decided to halt. Seeing her stop he too did the same. She lay down on the grass wondering about him. In the distance she could see some hazy silhouettes. Probably some hills. She fell asleep soon.
Her eyes were hurting. As if someone was showing a big torch on them. She squirmed, trying to squeeze the last vestiges of sleep. Reluctantly she opened up her eyes. The sun was shining on her face. She tried shielding her eyes from that glare and rose up. Suddenly she remembered where she was. She looked expectantly across the river. But saw no sign of him. She frantically looked here and there for some presence ,but he was gone.
She looked and faraway she saw a bridge joining the the two sides of the river.....but now what was the use.....

Just Last Time

She woke up with a start.Her fingers were clutching the bed sheet, her face was covered in thin film of perspiration. She remembered what woke her up. A plethora of images, some vivid ,some blurred ,some real, some distorted.In the end the same voice saying "It's for your own good ".
She tried relaxing.It must be around 4 in the morning she wondered. Had been able to sleep quite late last night. It was still quite dark but she could hear the rain outside. Rains...another flash of images. Once when they were caught while coming back from college classes. He used to drive a bike then. They had taken shelter in a bus stop.She could see his face, hear her laughter. This image quickly replaced by the next one. She was in his car and the rain drops were drumming down the car top. He was out buying something.....
She gave her head a shake. It was these images she had to get rid of. These memories she had to erase."Think about something else" she mentally admonished herself.
'Systematic desensitisation'.She remembered the word from her psychology classes.Can it be utilised in erasing memories, forgetting people.She didn't know.
Wanted her mind to spread before her like a book from which she could just erase the images of him , memories of times with him. Wanted selective amnesia, something through which she just forgets everything about him. "No ,No" ,one part of her mind shrieked.Don't want to erase every part. Want to keep some portions. Some good times. In fact even the bad times. The times when he made her cry, the times when he made her laugh, the times when he irritated her to the extent that she just wanted to wring his neck then and there. She smiled remembering those times.
But then how will she forget? She has to, right? This was supposedly for her own good. Stupid girl doesn't she know what's right for her. Apparently not. Her mind seemed to be split into two both fighting between themselves
She gave up resignedly. Her eyes were heavy again with sleep and then a final image of him. She sighed and decided to start forgetting him from tomorrow. Tonight ....just last time

PURGING MYSELF OF GUILT

Ok so it has happened. One of my nightmares have come true. Mr X has read this blog. I didnt want it to happen except perhaps in my some perverse mode (which comes rarely ok ).So this happened. His mistake entirely. His curiosity got better over him.Well what do they say about eavsdropping...u never hear anyone saying good things about you. Similarly u shd'nt be reading blogs u are not suppossed to.
So well he read it , felt I had painted him in a very negative light. Felt that anyone who reads it would think of him as a scoundrel ( well thats my english version. The word he used was "kamina").And that he himself started feeling guilty after reading it.
Well being typical me, I first fought that he had no right to read my personal blog( that's pretty rich I know coz everyone knows this is a public space ), then went over defending what I write is my concern theory, then felt guilty for putting him through this for no evident mistake of his (his own words these), then felt like deleting this entire thing off and lastly (the mood I'm presently in ) WTF my blog , my space , I'll write whatever I want. Dont want to hurt u intentionally, but dear if u get hurt then the least I can say is that I' m hurting too and much more than you for the past four years.
So for his own good he should stay away from this blog. He asked me why this blog focusses so much on him(something I dont really agree to...I mean I do write about other things..don't I) And what can I do when half of my life's focus is on him(something I want to change and fast ).
So I am purging myself of this guilt. Want to purge myself from him too. Just feel free from all these stupid emotions I feel for him.I think he will never understand how agonising it is to be chained in the love of a person who'll never love you back. So I too need liberation. Dream of a day when I wake free from the shackles of his love, a day I won't think about him even for once.

This is what i want to do right now. Stand a top a mountain and feel the wind on my body. Away from this maddening crowd

when the rain washes my feet....we know its time to accept defeat....as the time rolls by....We move to another plane...another side and another rain....

Boiling heat, summer stench....through the cream...you look at him....as he lays by dead.. In a pool of blood....So Maroon

so you think its all figured out....life is just another game....and the love just blows away....fading to grey


with thanx to arnab for letting me post his poem on my blog.
thanx arnab ....u r great:)

A MOSAIC

I was just going through my drafts in the blog . So many things which I had started to write but couldn't finish. All those random thoughts left in between. Thoughts which I promised myself i would come back and complete and finish but couldn't. Why ? Again I don't know. Lack of coherence ...but then most of my blog posts appear to be incoherent. Lack of time..No i always have lots of time to waste. Then what? Don't know. So am trying an experiment now. Join together those unfinished pieces. A kind of Mosaic . Let's See how it comes through.Going from my oldest unfinished blog post to the latest


This one was on 1/12/2008 titled "The Mumbai Trip"
Mumbai!! For days this word was singularly responsible for keeping me on a perpetual high _____________________________

The next was untitled and written on 6th march 2008
Too many thoughts at one time. how to unscramble ..how to make some sense of this conundrum..how to sort everything out and put it straight . my mind has become like my wardrobe..messy. but unlike the wardrobe putting my mind right is much more difficult.My wardrobe i did clear up in the morning..everything is now properly folded and kept in its place . woolens on one side , ironed clothes on the other. Everything neat ...everything in order.
how i wish my mind was a

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This again an untitled one written on 13th April 2008
"This may be the curse of the human race. Not that we are so different from one another but that we are so alike. "
These lines are from the latest book of Salman Rushdie. Something which was in my mind too but as a very rough idea.A push from best friend has


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This one was titled " THE PAST CONNECTIONS "

This is what happens to me usually during holidays.First I crave for them during my entire working time and when i get them i actually don't know what to do.This is not to mean that i don't have any work.There is never any dearth of work its simply the dearth of will to do anything. So for the past two days I am doing what would be an anathema to all workaholics i'e "nothing". I am simply whiling away my time. During this great endeavour i suddenly thought of using the net to find about people i knew. Wh

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This one is called " A HALF BAKED RELATIONSHIP " and was scribbled on 10th august 2008
So ,my sis asks today "what's the scene between u and him ?" " scene , what scene ? i feign innocence .But was i feigning or I myself don't know .How do you try explaining your relationship to anyone.When do you start explaining it to yourself

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This is an untitled entry on 22nd august 2008
" Is my face not good?"he asked . What can i say ,not that his face is bad (though he is no Adonis,but he is normal as most people are ).What made me quiet was not hat i had no answer , it was the situation in which this question was asked.This Friend

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This is on 8th Jan 2008

"Only two things are infinite,universe and human stupidity and i 'm not sure about the former" So are the words of my darling Einstein.
As always i fully agree with him.And in my case i choose each and every instance to prove this infinity of human stupidity .
How? Well i can start talking about the instances and the list won't end. So let's concentrate on the latest. One day before the dreamer ate the head of her very good friend about how to get over people and all. Now this friend is presently in USA, trying to breathe after a killer of a semester and still with his own work to finish but poor fellow gave all the required ear and shoulder and even tried to give dreamer some sound advice. The advice which was actually quite simple and sane . Stop all communications.But sanity and the dreamer rarely walk on the same path. So in spite of all the good resolutions that this is the path to be followed the very next day the dreamer gets a call from him (the person she was trying to get over )and she is back to square one.
Now the Ge

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This one was written on 25Th Jan 2009

So here is the first blog for the year 2009. Just noticed that the last i had written was in July last year. So its been along gap. Why? I wonder..... Its not that there was nothing to write about. Things were happening...but somehow didn't have the strength to write about them.
So what should i write about....the year that was? Last year was OK i guess had its ups and downs. Downs more i guess


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This is the last draft titled " My friend's other Universe " from 22nd Feb 2009


For a long long time I've believed that in friendship one should

_____________________________

So here they are all my unfinished entries in different stages of unfinish.
Probably they were better left unfinished and unpublished... Probably not

HEART BREAK

You're breaking my heart all over again.
Oh why did we start all over again?
It's too late now to wish I had never met you.
I've loved you much too much to just forget you.
If we ever part all over again,
Will I fall in love, no never again!
You said you'd love me, you made a vow,
Look what you're doing now,
You're breaking my heart all over again

this is apparently a Frank Sinatra song. Again thanks to the namesake :)

Of Namesakes and Birthsakes

Stalking does have its benefits. Wait Wait before you all go up in arms against me thinking that I m some kind of a pervert kindly hear me out.
Last week I fell ill. The usual asthma making its presence known. Due to great work pressure couldn't even take a leave from school(btw i teach in a school for all those who don't know ). But finally managed to ultimately take a few days off n laze around in bed.However when u r having an asthma attack you can't even sleep( all the asthematics would know). Now 12:00 at night with no scope for sleeping and that horrible wheeze resounding in your ears and chest are enough to make anyone mad. So to distract my poor self from my agonies i opened up the net and with nothing else to do opened up the profile of mr X (have mentioned him in earlier posts) and well stalked him :) Went through his friend lists and found my namesake. Now the weird thing is that namesake also shares my birthday :) So i just wanted to know what kind of person is she. Usual curiosity i guess. While stalking her profile got to see her blog and well it was good .One of her blogs had these blog awards where she has awarded around 7 blogs. Well one thing led to another and then i ended up reading them. Amazing amazing writings. Well people can write. So thanx to you my namesake and birthsake i was and will be able to read some good stuff.
P.S On another birthsake ...well he is languishing in jail now for some irresponsible speeches . Well none other than Mr Varun Gandhi. So not all birthsakes are alike i guess (well atleast thats what i would like to believe )Don't want to think that i m as big an idiot as him :)