The De-addiction Drive- Part 2

Ok folks ,the dreamer is back with the next episode of 'The Deaddiction Drive'. Taking on from the last posting ,our dreamer has now unknowingly got trapped into the web of messaging. The coaching came to an end, but the messaging continued . This was the time when the first symptoms of addiction appeared. If Mr.X didn't message for a few days the dreamer would get restless. She started sending inane messages just to get a reply. Though she got a hint that something is wrong but the feeling was effectively curbed and ignored.


In the meantime there was another coaching class which the dreamer joined...and yes Mr. X too joined in. The forces of nature were conspiring. The addiction started increasing in leaps and bounds. Finally this coaching also came to an end. By this time the dreamer also realised that something is wrong and the addiction has become severe.


Now the deaddiction drive starts. The dreamer starts writing pages and pages of her diary ,cursing herself. The thinking cells were called into action. The systematic rationalisation of the addiction started. It was viewed from all perspectives. The other thing which the dreamer prided herself for was the ability to be objective. However despite all the pride, the objectivity and rationalisation fell on its face.All the serious logic and reason were falling on deaf ears.From personal experience , the dreamer can now tell ,that when its your own head which is giving the logic and your own ears are becoming deaf ,the situation ,my dear friend, is very grim.If my situation was being observed by Freud , he would have called it a typical case of "Intra Psychic Conflict" between my Id and Ego. However knowing all the theories also doesn't help .They only add on to more pressure without giving some concrete steps to resolve it.


So finally realising the problem ,the dreamer tries her level best to bring things under control. For few days when things started coming to normal ,one action would bring things back to square one. Meanwhile Mr. X is also trying to help the dreamer in an indirect way. Now Mr. X anyways is not simple and nice chocolate boy.He can be one of the most irritating, stubborn ,indifferent and insensitive pig on this earth. The poor Mr. X is trying to help dreamer's cause by putting forward his most obnoxious self. Alas!! by now the dreamer is in such deep addiction that in spite of all this help she can't get over him.


And then destiny plays the worst joke it could have played. Mr. X suffers a break off and is single again.The dreamer meanwhile had been trying to keep a distance and was a little successful also ,but now Mr. X is all alone and needing a shoulder to cry. The dreamer rushes to help and offers the much required shoulder without thinking of her own deaadiction drive.Months pass on ,the dreamer is again getting entrapped. By now Mr. X starts having an idea of the dreamer's addiction. Hoping it's not more than an infatuation ,Mr. X starts dropping big hints, trying to denounce any idea of getting together which the dreamer might have.He also makes very clear the role he wants the dreamer to play. And permanency is something which is not wanted. Mr. X returns to his helpful mode and start behaving like an obnoxious pig again. The dreamer jolts back to reality and the deaddiction drive starts in earnest once again.


This time the dreamer is splurging on herself.. goes on a makeover..goes out of town , tries drinking herself to oblivion(which doesn't happen... as you know the dreamer is a fish..and fish don't drown in water). The dreamer eats best friend's head out.Best friend tries to drill some sense into the thick brain of the dreamer.But the dreamer is also a slow learner. She takes time in imbibing new ideas and things ,and especially when it's something good, the slow learner in the dreamer goes on an overdrive.


Well as things are positioned right now, the dreamer realises the importance of getting deaddicted. Though the earlier attempts have failed the dreamer is again resolving to do away with the addiction and this time for good.

So wish her all the best.

P.S. Would come back in a few weeks to tell about the progress of the deaddiction drive.

The De-addiction Drive

Have any of you ever gone on a de-addiction drive?I guess you must have because this is the thing we humans do the best-get addicted.At one point of time I used to boast that i don't have any addiction. Alas it is not true anymore. For the past two years I too have been suffering from an addiction. Now my addiction is a little different- it's neither of nicotine nor alcohol nor drugs. It's not that I've become a technological geek and am glued for hours to either T.V or computer.My addiction is the worst kind.. It's of a person. Yes, the dreamer got addicted to a person.. let's call him Mr. X.



So now you can have some idea of my peril. There is no professional help which I can take. No Alcoholics Anonymous for my rescue..No de-addiction centers.In fact, majority of people would not consider it a problem at all.They will think of it as a prelude to a new relationship etc. etc.But the problem is that's not the case.



Let me give you a little background so that the thing is clearer. The dreamer met Mr. X in a coaching class. Unlike bollywood romances nothing happened at the first sight. Infact for the dreamer the first sight did not happen for a good one and a half months.Then one fateful day the dreamer sits in front of Mr. X. Now nothing would have happened but as it turned out Mr. X was quite witty and his comments kept the dreamer entertained all through the boring lecture. Now the dreamer really appreciates wit and from next day onwards made a conscious effort to sit around Mr. X. Within a few days it happened that the dreamer started sitting beside Mr.X and they started talking. Then in dreamers life a new thing appeared. A mobile phone.. As you know the dreamer takes to technology very late..so after trying to evade this technological device for years finally the dreamer had to submit to it and had a mobile phone in hand. Things still would not have taken a wrong turn but Mr. X asked for the number. Now the dreamer being very innocent and naive about the ill effects of exchanging numbers gave it.As it turned out both of them were using the same mobile company. Now the cruelty of fate did not stop there. As it turned out the mobile company for promotional purposes made messaging very cheap at 1 paisa each message. The dreamer got trapped in this and then the addiction started. Mr. X and the dreamer started messaging each other like crazy. It started with 1 or 2 messages a day and reached up to 70 to 80. In the exhilaration of the new device and new friend the dreamer got more and more entangled in the web. Now let me also tell you at this juncture that this addiction is very hard to detect in the beginning.



But to cut the long story short this messaging continued for a very long time. The dreamer also came to know quite early that Mr. X is an engaged man and happily going around for the last 3-4 years.In the mean time the coaching classes came to an end but the chatting between dreamer and Mr. X continued uninterrupted.


Next part of the story in the next post.

Teething Troubles

Finally i too am here.It's really unnerving for a person like me. Half of my life i've taken a kind of vicarious pleasure in telling people that i m technologically challenged( something which is true too) If i touch a button on the keyboard or click the mouse, more often then not some unexpected thing happens... either the thing i m working on disappears from the screen or some weird thing appears ,making me completely befuddled as to what to do next. My friends have suffered hairloss trying to teach me simple things on computer..really its true they were literally pulling their hair most of the times.

Therefore its a little odd when i too have jumped up to stake a claim in this big confusing cyber world.Why did i do it? Honestly i don't know...its not that i write well..in fact the opposite may be true.. my words don't move people.one does not feel compelled to either laugh or cry when one reads my work.. my words won't make u feel nostalgic neither they will make one go into the world of fantasies..

Also scared of one more thing .".How much of real me would be revealed in what I write?" It's scary putting yourself up for public scrutiny...(though i m sure not many people will be reading it anyway).

So trying to keep all my apprehensions aside let me try this also.