Palace of Illusions!!

Cover of The Palace of Illusions: A Novel

Mahabharata!! my first memories of it was the serial which used to come on Sundays. In those pre cable times, Sundays were essentially T V watching days and Mahabharata ensured a full family entertainment. It was later while studying history I realised that it was a great epic ...in fact the longest epic we have. When I took up Ancient Indian history I started having a very ambivalent attitude of it. I realised that it was the reflection of a past society, its customs, its ethos . And finding contradictions and interpolations within the text was a high point for me. But all throughout I felt that it lacked a female voice, a female perspective. This grouse I do have with majority of other epics and ancient texts too...this lack of a female voice.
Finally I found a book which filled this void. Reading Chitralekha Bannerjee Devakaruni's Palace of Illusions gave a new twist to the tale. It is the story of Mahabharata from the perspective of Draupadi.Right from the time when she stepped out of that great yagna kund... a dark girl child, coughing ,stumbling behind drishtadumya...Uncalled for, unwanted. Her lonely childhood is reflective of several childhoods..those of girls who come into this world..uninvited, unwelcomed. Draupadi's marriage to five pandavas.One can feel the frustruation of Draupadi. A princess suddenly reduced to a commodity to be shared. In order to obey your mother's ill fated words ,you can decide on a person's life without consulting her. But then when has a woman been considered a person especially in our epics. The boon given by Vyasa that she will be a virgin every time she goes to a new brother. Her conjugal time table set.Though she has 5 husbands she doesn't have any choice , any freedom. It all depended on where she should be according to set timetable, unlike a man who has several wives... a common practice those days..but can choose whose bed he wants to share who's not. And made avirgin everytime... it reeks of patriarchal set up. For whose pleasure was her virginity?...the pandavas because all should feel that their wife has come to them untouched.Probably it soothed their ego..their machismo. A very good line is written. Boons given to women are also for the pleasure of men. So true.
Then the book reveals Paanchali's attraction to Karna. This I can relate to. An attraction or love which is all wrong... which never will be fulfilled but which still lingers on. How much you try to weed it out ,it doesn't go. This doomed love which is against logic and rationality .. but like a stubborn stain remains..refusing to go completely.
The way we hurt the person we actually love the most in order to protect our vulnerability. I think all of us do it sometime or the other.
Draupadi's enigmatic relationship with krishna was another high point of this book. The love which cannot be described. Something which has always been there...will always be there. The actual unconditional love. I think this love is only possible with God.
I don't know what I expected to write ...a kind of book review I guess. But the words..good read, unputdownable are looking so farce ,so incomplete. I think after a long time I've read a book which made me think and weep and smile .

{P. S. will try to write a post on Karna separately. }

Everything is fair in love and war !! Really ??

Everything is fair in love and war !! Heard this line and used it also several times during arguments. But last few days actually got me thinking about it. A friend of mine just broke off her 7 year old relationship. That too when after so many years carrying it out covertly she had finally confessed to her parents and all. Reason being that the guy was lying to her for the past 7 years about his caste. Anyone reading this would feel that the girl is a cold hearted ,archaic, conservative person ,who still believes in caste prejudices. (These days its an anathema to any modern day secularist....and most of us see ourselves in this category ). But knowing her well I know its not the matter of caste but of trust. Seven years this guy was lying to her (according to the guy this is the only issue he ever lied on ).
However if I try seeing it from the guy's perspective he did it so that he doesn't loose her. In the end also he was not willing to tell her but did so only when he realised she would get to know herself. His idea was that he would confess after marriage and then she would anyways understand .His argument that everything is fair in love and war. Actually this is what has been shown in several Hindi movies too. The guy lies right through...gets the girl and in the end come out clean and the girl understands. She is supposed to be in love with him right...so she should understand that it was only done to get her.
This got me thinking about what actually is love? Does love mean to covet, to possess by whatever means or does it actually entails trust and understanding. When I talked to a few other of my girlfriends they shared my opinion that here the issue is of trust. Do the guys also see this the same way ?
I really don't know the answer to this.
If the girl had forgiven him too and they would have continued their relationship will she actually would have been able to forget. And how do you again trust a person? Every time something turns up ,wouldn't she be reminded of the past that once this guy has lied for 7 years. Trust once broken can it ever be restored fully... I doubt. Also this got me thinking about this guy, his attitude towards life. For him end is important ,the means can actually go to hell. So when life will present other travails in front of him what will he do ...take the easy way out..lie, cheat so that the work at present gets done..future repercussions who cares? But then this is the attitude which is gaining mileage these days. Values look like a cumbersome burden to people. Honesty , Trust are these just empty words now ?
Again no answers.